Voting Season
by Len
Summary: J/D: Shamelss promotion of our favorite awards--Josh is having problems with the polling.


Voting Season  
By Len  
Spoilers: none, really.  
Teaser: shameless promotion of everyone's favorite awards!  
Disclaimer: J/D aren't mine, never will be, and it's time I accept that.  
Notes: Dedicated to the whole GCCA crew  
More Notes: Although it is a silly promo fic-I'd simply adore some feedback! It makes my day brighter!  
  
  
  
"Donnatella Moss!" I shout, listening to it echo around my office and down the hall. She appears in the doorway, a stack of papers in her arms.  
  
"You bellowed, Joshua?"  
  
"I did not. I raised my voice for the purpose of making myself heard."  
  
She raises an eyebrow. "You raised your voice because you have a thing for deaf people."  
  
"One, that makes no sense, and two, I just like the way it kind of _rolls_ off the tongue. 'Donnatella Moss'."  
  
"You like hearing yourself talk, more likely," she retorts. Her face is slightly pink. "Was there a reason you called me in here, or did you just want to experiment with the wonderful reverberating quality of my name?"  
  
I try to look mysterious. I lean back in my chair and steeple my fingers, like Sherlock Holmes. "There was indeed a reason, my loyal assistant. I want to know if the Results have come in."  
  
This causes her to roll her eyes. "Wow, you almost had me fooled, there, Josh. The change in delivery-that was definitely a step in the right direction."  
  
"Why, whatever do you mean?" I say innocently.  
  
"I mean, you've asked me four times already, Josh. The last time was forty minutes ago. I'm not going to have a different answer."  
  
"I want to know how the vote is going to turn out, Donna!" Okay, now I may be bellowing. Donna doesn't even blink.  
  
"The polls don't even close until June 17th! And what day is today?"  
  
"Um, Monday?" I say obediently.  
  
"Monday what?"  
  
"Monday May 21st?"  
  
Donna beams at me, and turns to go. I decide to lose the Sherlock Holmes routine. "Donna, wait!"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Aren't you even the least bit curious?"  
  
She sighs, and returns to my desk. Very patiently, she deposits her papers on the bookshelf and then takes the guest chair. "No," she says simply.  
  
I'm stunned. Really. Well and truly flummoxed. "What?" I squeak. "Donna, are you feeling okay? How could you not be curious? Voting season comes but once a year! It's like Christmas in June!"  
  
"Josh, I realize that. But what's the point of even wondering? I mean, all the Fan Fiction out there is fantastic!"  
  
"Right," I answer slowly, "But I'm not seeing where this suddenly becomes a problem and renders you uninterested."  
  
"The Fan Fiction, Josh. It's really great."  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Stunningly so, even."  
  
"Donna, is there a point to all this?" I love it when I get the chance to use the long-suffering boss voice. And although she would never admit it, I know my long-suffering assistant gets a kick out of it, too.  
  
"There most certainly is. The point is-" she breaks off suddenly.  
  
"Well, don't leave us in suspense..."   
  
Then I see what she is staring at. I try to cover it with my arm, but she is too fiendishly quick for me. She plucks the paper off my desk and holds it up. "'Dear Members of the JoshandDonna FF egroup...'," she reads. "'...the standard of fiction posted on this list is exemplary...' Well, put Josh. Let's see-'...would be gratified if the results could be more speedily correlated...' Josh!"  
  
"Yeah?" I say sheepishly.  
  
"You're writing to the JoshandDonna FF group to try and get them to vote faster? Isn't that an abuse of power or something?"  
  
"And you call me the downer," I mutter. She shoots me a quick look.  
  
"I hope you didn't send this."  
  
"No-that's just a draft. See, I'm trying to get the right tone for this-"  
  
I watch as Donna crumples the paper up into a ball and lobs it at my head. Being used to this kind of treatment, I duck. "Tone?" she says incredulously. "How about the 'Completely silent and patient lurker' tone?"  
  
"No!" I yell. Outside the bullpen falls silent. I try to regulate my volume. "That is exactly what we don't want! No lurkers! The list has hundreds of people lurking-"  
  
"There's nothing wrong with that, Joshua!"  
  
"I know, I know. But they've got to come and vote for their favorite Fan Fics! After all, they are the reading audience! They know what they like, and must share it with the world! They Must Not Be Silent!"  
  
"Josh," Donna says sharply, "Sit down and put your head between your knees."  
  
I am surprised to find myself standing on my chair, punching the air wildly like some Latin American dictator. Oh, please forgive me, Uncle Sam.   
  
I sit. "So you think the letter would be a little too much?" I ask. She nods, her blonde hair catching and reflecting the sunlight through my window. I blink.  
  
"Yes, I do."  
  
"And you think I should be completely unconcerned? Like you are?"  
  
"I wouldn't say I was unconcerned. In fact, being the concerned citizen I am, I've already voted."  
  
She looks so smug. I lean closer to her. "Oh yeah?"  
  
"Yeah," she says a little breathlessly. "After all, I wanted to have a say. But that doesn't mean I know how the vote's going to go."  
  
"Because all of the Fic is outstanding," I say, anticipating her argument. She nods.  
  
"And the fic is, you will have to admit, quite educational," Donna adds earnestly.  
  
I raise my eyebrows. "Oh? How's that?"  
  
"It give us pointers on how to react in any given situation. Take this one, for example. If I wanted to immolate one of the fine Drama authors, I could tell you right now that I'm pregnant."  
  
I feel all the blood rush out of my face and my stomach drop to the floor. "Are you?" I gasp.  
  
"No. Or, if I wanted to take a more non-romantic approach, I could tell you that you're my best friend and I'm going to take you roller skating."  
  
Roller skating? Me? The mind boggles. But I decided to enter into the spirit of the thing. "Or if I wanted to go all comedic, I could ask you if you have your name sewn into your socks."  
  
"That's not funny, Josh."  
  
"I beg to differ, Donna."  
  
"Beg all you want. It's still not amusing. That particular horse is so dead, you're..."  
  
"What?" I ask interestedly.   
  
Donna blinks. "Yeah, okay. I don't know where to go with that. But you know what I mean."  
  
"Hardly ever."  
  
She ignores that, and stares at me for a minute. I stare back. "Or," she says finally, "I could try for one of those 'Outstanding Kisses' stories. Maybe pin you against the door or something..." This last part is mumbled, but I can make it out.  
  
And I'm suddenly having trouble breathing myself. "What category do you think you're going to go with?" I ask, clearing my throat.  
  
She looks at me, realizes she's leaning across the desk and turns pink. "Um-I think I'll just stick to what I know," she says, and flees my office. I watch the empty doorway in contemplative silence. Could she really-?  
  
Nah.  
  
Eventually I snap out of it. Then I go to the computer, bring up the JoshandDonnaFF Polls page and watch as the numbers of voters increases. Very, very slowly. Argh!  
  
Call me an egomaniac, call me what you will, but I want the NUMBERS!!!  
  
Soon. Please?  
  
  
The End  
  
  
GO AND VOTE FOR THE GOLDEN COFFEE CUP AWARDS!! Go to the 'Polls' page and vote for outstanding J/D fic. Josh will thank you. (-:  
  
  
  
  



End file.
